THC DISCOVERED IN BEEF JERKY
By Rock Hardplace
BUNGLE STAFF WRITER

"We have not been able to identify the meat."

MONTEREY, California -- After finding substantial amounts of THC in samples, the U.S. Department of Agriculture ordered that operations at a Monterey, California beef jerky processing plant be ceased for a thorough investigation by department officials.

THC being the main component in marijuana, officials are suspicious that the processing plant might have been a hub for drug distribution and that the product may have been used in the distribution. Local health officials made an attempt to pull product off shelves, but all local stores had sold out of their inventories and were in fact requesting more. The investigation as to the source of the THC contamination is still open.

"Sells faster than anything I've ever had" said Mountain Store owner Fong Lu. "They said a new shipment was coming in soon, you better believe I'll be selling it.  Tastes great, and I'll be damned if the Department of Health wants to tell me how to run my store. That's not what I came to this country for."

The plant's operational license will remain suspended pending the outcome of the U.S.D.A.'s investigation.