REMAINS OF MISSING HIKERS FOUND
By Ivanna Long-Johnson
DAILY TATTLER STAFF WRITER

REDWOOD CITY, CA-- FBI agents have announced finding what they believe to be the remains of two hikers lost in the area since June.  33 year-old John "Irie" Stanton of Boulder, CO and 16 year-old Melanie "Kitty" Carlson of Iowa City, IO were last seen when they left their van near a ranger station approximately 4 miles from where the remains were found.

"These were basically homeless people, so no one knows whether they are really missing or if they just skipped town," says FBI spokesman Brian Craft.

The investigation is ongoing pending DNA testing to prove the identity of the remains.  According to Craft, only matted hair and backpacks were found.

Authorities are downplaying rumors of a serial killer preying on "natural people" nationwide.  Speculation has arisen in the loose-knit and highly transient community since a rash of alleged disappearances in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Says Craft, "Some of these people could get lost in their own back yards-- if they had back yards, that is.  Some of them have good reason to vanish without a trace."