BOULDER CREEK LODGE QUESTIONED
By Harry Toole
SENILE STAFF WRITER

SANTA CRUZ, CA-- Reports of mysterious disappearances circulating through the downtown Santa Cruz hippie community prompted police to pay a visit to Ye Old Lodge, near Big Basin State park in Boulder Creek yesterday.  One source, who would only identify himself as "Ashram Compost," claims that a group of his friends never returned from an impromptu rock concert in the redwoods.

"It's totally wild, man.  I mean, they had just scored, you know?  And they went up to this fat jam in the forest.  Maybe they just decided to hang in the trees 'cause the concert  just blew their minds..."

When questioned about the disappearances, then lodge's bartender, Dougie, simply pointed to a "No Hippies" sign mounted on the wall-- squarely underneath a gigantic stuffed elk's head-- and stated, "Hippies?  Phish concert? Here? I don't think so."

The lodge's owner, a Mr. Nugent (no relation to the 80s rocker despite an allegedly striking resemblance), was not available for comment.

According to Santa Cruz Police detective Warren Carey, "So far the missing have been described only as 'Happy', a white male aged somewhere between '20 and sorta ageless', then there's 'Shiney' or something, a 'real groovy chick' as they put it; along with a bunch of other goofy names for the others. I won't be filing a report until we get some real names.  I'd look pretty silly filing a missing persons report for a bunch of cartoon characters."

Carey did, however, add that he had noticed a rather diminished hippie crowd out in front of the new Leaf store downtown, which is a popular hippie hangout.

"It's been nice.  I haven't busted any pan-handlers for days," he said.  "Maybe they're off looking for Jerry or something.  Downtown's actually kind of clean, for once."